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The Titanic Award

Posted by Terry Smith on July 18, 2019 at 3:10 AM

You may not be aware that we have a Titanic Award. Last Year's winner was Bob Watson. The award shouldn't be won twice in a row because the current holder has to nominate the next year's winner. Of course, he could nominate himself if he tried hard enough.

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To the best of my recollection Bob has broken the A rig on his Marblehead four times this year. That's a pretty solid attempt to keep the prize in your own portfolio.

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There have been some other pretty valiant attempts to wrest it from Bob.

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Phillip Neville had his Marblehead in the water. This boat was just a super cheapy  that he was using while he completed his A Class boat. Don't rush him, this has been going on for 47 years. And you reckon I'm slow? Anyway, the Marblehead began to sit a bit lower in the water. And lower. And lower. It was in the general vicinity of where Roger's Marblehead, after being t-boned by Bob Tuohy's 10 Rater, sank years ago. Roger's boat went all the way to the bottom and was retrieved via dinghy and grappling hook. Phillip's boat just bobbed around with its' nose pointing  in the air. The amount of nose above water was diminishing rapidly. No time to get the dinghy from the shed. Phillip ripped his clothes off quicker than a gay bar stripper but entered the water somewhat slower than the dudes on Bondi Rescue. The water at that time of year was cold. Not just cold but COLD. Phillip emerged from the water, with boat, but wearing the family jewels as a bow-tie. Bet he doesn't do that again in a hurry.

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Then there are those who take a more laid back approach to boat recovery. Bob Dare's boat went NON COMPOS MENTIS and grounded itself over near Stanhouse Bay. Bob just sat back and watched the other boats sailing around. When asked if he was going to go get his boat, he replied that if he left it long enough it would probably drift back to our side of the dam. Next week would be good enough. Cool, calm and collect it when it wants to be collected.

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Philip Scapens..........oh deary me. Part way through an A Class race, Philip's transmitter started making beeping noises. It looked like his transmitter batteries may have been going flat. And, of course, his boat was half way across the dam towards Stanhouse Bay. We assured Philip that the batteries could be changed with only minimal loss of boat control while the receiver re-linked. Phillip started ripping batteries out and they flew through the air like spent bullet cases from a machine gun. New batteries in, wait, try to control boat, no response. Everyone, being in race mode, finished their race before going back to assist in shepherding Osprey back to shore. Too late. Osprey had driven itself into the only tree on the far bank and snarled the mast in the branches. Time for Philip to put his time-honed rowing skills to test. He got over to Osprey and had troubles untangling it from the tree. He eventually managed to clear it and then attached Osprey to the dinghy with a hawser. By this time Osprey had drifted back into the tree. Undaunted, Philip applied himself to the oars and endeavoured to retrieve his craft from the clutches of the tree by applying brute force. It worked. Osprey came free and followed the dinghy away from the tree. Unfortunately the freedom was accompanied with a resounding crack which coincided with the mast falling into the water. Osprey, the hull, floated along behind the dinghy with a bedraggled mess of mast, sail and rigging trailing along behind. On reaching the near shore the sorry shambles was removed from the water. Diagnosis revealed that the boat battery was OK. The new transmitter batteries were OK. The receiver would not lock on to the transmitter. Quote of the year from Philip. 'Does it matter that the transmitter is saying MR MAGOO?' Somehow he had managed to get the transmitter to go from the A Class 'Osprey' channel to his IOM, 'MR MAGOO'. Good one Philip.

Categories: General, 2019

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2 Comments

Reply Bob Dare
8:06 PM on July 18, 2019 
Good Job Chief, That Was an Honest Scribe, Especially Funny Mr Magoo
Reply KelAerots
4:29 AM on August 1, 2019 
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